Tag: health

Introduction

Everyone talks about the importance of being mindful, but do we really know what that means and how to apply it to our everyday life?

Let me start with an example. Let’s say you’re driving home from work, but today you have to take a pit stop and go to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients for dinner. You’re driving along, maybe listening to some music, a podcast, or talking on the phone (the latter of which I don’t recommend). Suddenly, you’re in your garage, having completely forgotten to take the left at the last light towards the grocery store. Somehow, this complex task of driving is something that you have done on autopilot. This is an example of mindless driving.

Now, let’s say you’re on your way to pick up a new colleague because you’ve decided to carpool. You’re listening carefully to the GPS, looking at every street sign to make sure you don’t miss the turn on the way to her house. You’re conscious of how slowly you’re driving and that there are cars behind you, and this is creating some anxious thoughts, feelings, and physiological arousal. Nevertheless, you continue to drive slowly anyway, because you want to make sure to go the right way. This would be an example of mindful driving.

What is Mindfulness?

The simplest definition of mindfulness is to be fully present. This is a common phrase people use, but what does it mean to be fully present? First, it means to be aware of how something engages our 5 senses—seeing, hearing, touch, smell, and/or taste. It also means being aware of how something affects our 3 internal senses—our thoughts, feelings, and physiological sensations. 

When we are being mindless, often a random thought will pop into our head, because that’s what the brain does. It generates thought. Because we don’t separate our thoughts from our sense of self, we assume the thought is true. Using the prior example of picking up your colleague, the thought might be, the people behind me are probably flipping me off because I am driving so slowly. This thought then leads to a reflexive feeling, like anxiety or anger. These initial thoughts and feelings we have no control over, any more than we have control over trying to brace ourselves with our arms when we fall, or vomiting when we’ve eating something that’s spoiled. When we aren’t yet able to identify our thoughts and feelings, usually our reaction becomes reflexive, too. Perhaps you start sweating, you’re heart rate speeds up, and you hyperventilate. 

What would the mindful version of this experience look like? First, you become aware that you are having a thought about people judging you, potentially being angry at you. You look around to determine whether there is any evidence to support this thought and you notice that the person behind you has thrown up their hands in exasperation, and you hear someone honking. You then become aware of the feeling of anxiety—worry that people are mad at you, apprehension about how far away the turn is, and dread of looking into your rearview mirror. But then you take a pause and decide how you want to proceed. You decide that even if it’s inconveniencing people for a few minutes by going more slowly, you would rather continue to drive in this way than to miss the turn. So you continue to listen carefully to the GPS and watch the street signs.

Why is mindfulness important?

In everyday life, we are constantly bombarded by a stream of thoughts, feelings, and reactions that are largely unconscious. Moreover, there are often judgments going on in our heads that we assume to be true without any evidence–like the thought that everyone is mad at us. This self-critical thought has the effect of raising our anxiety and kicks us into fight/flight/freeze mode, causing us to honk our horn back, meekly wave sorry, or stop driving altogether because you have become overwhelmed.

Once we cultivate an awareness of what’s going on in our bodies and what senses are being engaged, we are fully present in the moment and no longer let judgmental thoughts control us. This takes practice, just as exercise takes practice, but the more moments of mindfulness you create, the more control you have over your behavior. Anxiety is important because it lets us know of potential danger, but it’s important to check and see if it’s a false alarm, because the experience of anxiety is the same whether it’s real or imagined danger. Once you’ve done some investigation, you can make a more intentional choice about whether this is, indeed, a dangerous situation, or whether we have perceived something to be a threat when it is not.

Anxiety disorder is a psychiatric condition in which the person can no longer differentiate between real or imagined threats. Or, even if the person can tell the difference, their coping strategies have become maladaptive. Perhaps they stop driving altogether. Perhaps they repeat with all of the possible things that could go wrong in their head, creating a spiral that takes up a lot of space in their brain. As a result, they miss out on what’s actually happening in that moment. Perhaps they’re not able to listen to their friend, or they burn the omelet they’re making, or they don’t enjoy the warmth of their morning shower and the smell of their bath gel.

What are the benefits of mindfulness?

Research has shown that there are benefits in both physical and mental health from mindfulness practice. Some things that you may notice after practicing mindfulness for several months are that

1. Your senses will become heightened. Colors will be brighter. Background noises will be more noticeable. Fast food that’s meant to be eaten mindlessly will overwhelm your tastebuds. You may crave more quiet time. Or want to eat differently. Or experience moments of awe when you drive home and see the sunset.
2. You will be less perfectionistic and more accepting of your perceived flaws, mistakes, and failures. In practicing mindfulness, we practice observation without making determinations like good/bad, right/wrong, or success/failure.
3. You will begin to have more empathy for yourself and others. Because mindfulness is about accepting what is without judgment or criticism, you’ll be less likely to judge yourself or someone else as a terrible person because of a single action they performed on a particular day.
4. You develop more self-awareness and can better articulate what is going on in your mind, heart, and body, which helps you process emotional events in a helpful manner.
5. You will become a better listener because you will be less likely to multitask by looking at your phone, or be in your head, judging yourself or the speaker. As a result, they will feel validated and heard.
6. You will develop a greater sense of gratitude for things that you take for granted—like the fact that our bodies do so much to help us function every day, whether or not we are taking care of ourselves. 
7. You will begin to realize that happiness is a state of mind that can be cultivated in the present moment, rather than something that will happen after you achieve a particular goal in the future.

How do I start practicing?

Just like exercise, even a small amount of mindfulness is better than none at all, and the more you practice, the faster you will see results. Some examples of practice are:

1. Meditation. Even as little as 5 minutes of meditation can help you to begin to understand the nature of your brain—how it randomly generates thoughts, which hijack your attention and create feelings and unintentional behaviors as a result. There are apps that you can use to help you to begin meditating. My favorite is called Insight Timer and it has a lot of features even with the free version. You can also find examples on YouTube.
2. Mindful check-ins. In this scan, you ask yourself these questions:
   1. What sensations are going on in my body? How do the sensations change as I continue to pay attention to them? Most likely they will probably subside and eventually disappear altogether if you’re not too distressed.
   1. What feelings am I experiencing? It can be helpful to look at a chart of feeling words because our vocabulary tends to be limited. Keep in mind that we usually experience multiple feelings at once. Sometimes our feelings may even be contradictory. And we can have feelings about our feelings, like frustration, confusion, and guilt.
   1. What are my thoughts? By identifying what’s going on in your mind as a thought that you are having, rather than identifying with the thought, you create space to reflect on whether there’s evidence for this thought, whether you agree with it, whether it is kind or judgmental, and whether it is helpful.
3. Transitions. Because we tend to be in a constant state of planning and/or evaluating, in addition to multitasking, sometimes we are not aware of transitions. Some examples are waking up and starting your day, beginning and ending a meal, beginning and ending your workday, and transitioning wakefulness to sleep. Transitions are an important pause that allow us to prepare for what comes next. Transitions from a state of inertia to initiating an activity can be difficult, as well as the transition from a state of activity to a state of rest. Therefore, it can be helpful to prepare for these transitions to signal to our brains and bodies about what is to come, thereby giving us more control over the outcome.
4. Mental boundaries. In the same way that it is important to set boundaries in terms of work/life balance and saying yes and no, it is also important to put boundaries in our minds about what we want to focus our attention on. For example, if you are trying to fall asleep but find that you keep thinking about how you felt snubbed when that person didn’t say hi, or you’re thinking about what’s on your to do list for tomorrow, it can be difficult to fall asleep. I often encourage my clients to set a boundary around sleep and to say something to themselves like, this is the time I’ve designated for my mind and body to be quiet. I can’t control falling asleep, but I can cultivate stillness by relaxing my muscles and focusing on my breathing.
5. Technology breaks. Because our computers, phones, tablets, and watches are constantly bombarding us with unnecessary stimulation, it can be helpful to set aside even a few hours, part of a day, or if you’re really ambitious, an entire day to be free from devices. There’s a great deal of research that discusses how the notifications and likes are a hit of dopamine that gives us momentary pleasure but also makes us want more hits, so you may experience a form of withdrawal at first when you put your devices down. But once you become more comfortable with being fully present with yourself and others, or being immersed in your activity of choice, you will find that true connection is far more fulfilling than the momentary hit you get from a ping on your device.
6. Timers. The Pomodoro method, which utilizes short timers of about 25 minutes, can be a helpful way to practice redirecting your focus. They can be combined with apps that allow you to play a game by completing more timers to make it more interesting. In setting a goal for a timer, avoid making the goal about task completion. Task completion unnecessarily creates an opportunity for failure and self-criticism, since we don’t really know how long it will take to complete something. Instead, set a goal based on focusing on a particular subject, like writing the introduction to your paper, for a set amount of time. Keep in mind that you will not be able to sustain your attention on your subject. Whenever you notice that your mind has wandered, turn your attention back to your goal over and over again, without criticism or judgment. If something comes up that’s important for you to remember, you can jot it down and attend to it once the timer has gone off.

Summary

In summary, practicing mindfulness can be a helpful lifestyle change, similar to diet and exercise, that can benefit you both physically and mentally. In addition, mindfulness can help you be more intentional about what your priorities are and how you want to spend your time, both in your head and through your actions, which helps to contribute to an overall sense of purpose and meaning in life.